You smell like stripper and shame
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
