Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.