This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me