They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
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Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.