dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it hurts more in the daytime
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe