I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
