is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
