I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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