I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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