You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I have fence marks all over my body
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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