i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
