I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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