Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
