Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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