i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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