You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
