DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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