it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
