u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
