dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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