I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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