What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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