Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
