party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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