You're a womanizer and a bitch.
id be glad to
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
