dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
