Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she smelled like a LAN party
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
