I'm really into asian looking animals
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
