Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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