Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
