I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
