All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I came so hard my ears popped.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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