Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
