the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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