sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
