I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
