Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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