Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
