I can tuck mytits in my pants
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize