Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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