Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize