The maid of honor just puked.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
And then he peed in my hair
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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