Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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