Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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