i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
