amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
