Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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