Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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