I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
