Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
