That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
