Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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