i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
