I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
