Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
