We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
