Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
