I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
