He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
