I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
