Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
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The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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