she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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