Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
