Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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