want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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