Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
