i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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